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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
The diamond cutters sat down for their morning bagels and tea on Ebberstrassen. Doughboy surprised them with a French version of Al-Jumhuriya. “Emanuel Berkovitz is in the Holy Land”, he read, as the boys dropped bagels and spilled tea in disbelief. The diamond cutters understood the message. The winds of change were blowing on Ebberstrassen. (Last nights matzo ball soup). Doughboy read on “Moses is at the border”. The cutters wondered “what will we do?” and they opened up several gallons of King Solomon and began drinking heavily. Doughboy stood up on the table and asked the cutters “does everyone have the dildos?”, and the diamond cutters pulled out their tools. Doughboy sat down, took a big swig and read more from Al-Jumhuriya. “Rodney- the dark meat- is being held captive.” “Berkovitz will not stand for this”, Doughboy told the gang. “Where is the dodecahedron?”, asked Doughboy. “In the bottle”, responded Morey Sheck Jr. “Where are the tickets?”, inquired Bagelmeister. The boys drankup and headed for the train station with their remaining bottles, dildos, bagels and the dodecahedron. It was going to be a long (and smelly) trip.
Copyright © Dan Sroka 9/13/02
Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
A bitterly cold wind blew through Ezzards hair as he headed for the Bamberg Bordello on this ugly morning. “A quick fix and I’m on my way”, he thought. He paid his euros and undressed and quickly exploded. Before you knew it he was done. He sat with Freda and told her “It’s a solemn task ahead”. Freda cried “Don’t do this” and Ezzard responded “Everything is in place”. He got out his German version of Al-Jumhuriya and read “Emanuel Berkovitz is in the Holy Land. Moses is at the border. Rodney- the dark meat-”, Ezzard pauses, “I can’t go on!”. Freda cried a tear knowing this would be the last time she ever saw Scrotumballs. “I’m meeting Baluga at the knockwurst stand where we will eat chicken and drink beer, and then it’s off to the baunhof”. He whispered to Freda “I’m doing this for you”, gathered up his stuff and exited the bordello. “I think it’s gonna be a long- long time” he thought, as he fought the cold wind on his way to meet Baluga. “Ummmmmm, greasy chicken and beer”. He checked his pocket. Tickets for two to Frankfurt. It was going to be a long (and unpleasant) trip.
Copyright © Dan Sroka 9/13/02, 
5/08
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