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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
In the foothills Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz met up with Jugingu for the first and only time. A group of magpies flew overhead in the frigid conditions. Berkovitz offered Jugingu some wine but the youngster refused. "Where is he?" asked the Rabbi and Jugingu responded "in the crevice at the route of the hairy mule- up there were the magpies congregate", pointing off to the distance. Emanuel Berkovitz then summoned Rodney, who was lagging behind. "Get out the vial" Berkovitz ordered Rodney. Jugingu stepped back and threw up his hands in protest. "Don't do it" he protested. Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz would have none of it. He was on a mission to get the zealot mother fucker. "You are certain he is there?" Berkovitz quizzed Jugingu. "I saw him less than one hour ago" responded the young man of the hills. "But don't do that!" Rodney cowered in fear and anticipation. Berkovitz moved away, following the trail of the magpies. He climbed through the foothills to destiny. Just as forecasted by Jugingu- Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz found the jinn at the crevice in the road. "Get up" he ordered. The man rose, almost as if he understood what Berkovitz had spoke. Berkovitz handed him the vial and the man swallowed the contents. "Your blood is on my hands" he told the zealot. They parted and Berkovitz returned to the lower hills where Jugingu and Rodney waited. Both had witnessed the interaction from a distance. Berkovitz confirmed his fate. "I have destined the maggot to death" he told the young man and the black man. "Let's party". The Mogen David flowed. They slopped up heavily as they watched the magpies move back and forth. Rodney inquired "who was that?" Berkovitz took a big swig. "Don't question" he replied. "You will know when the magpies shit in your face". Rodney looked around in a confused stupor. The 3 moved down the foothills to the border. Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz crossed the border to safety. Rodney got some more wine and contemplated this all on the curb. Jugingu moved back up into the hills with his face tilted toward the sky. A dark cloud of shitting magpies approached.
Copyright © Dan Sroka 1/16/04
Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
The Society of Wimps called an emergency meeting. A dangerous world has recently become ever more threatening. No- it's not the threat of terrorism. The Wimps are worried because their natural enemy... the female bulldykes.. you know- the vicious ones like Gibby Gilligan (the world's biggest bitch and tallest woman) and Bulldyke Gertrude (the fattest lardo bulldyke) were running amuck and fucking up wimps left and right! Twerp Casper Milk-toast Yesman called the meeting to order and the weakling punks settled down. Yesman told the wimpish punks he had the answer that would end forever the treat of the berserk bulldykes. The boys went crazy, feeling exhilaration and relief simultaneously. Casper the Wimp pulled out the secret answer at the podium. It was a can of sardines! But- not any type of sardines. It was onion and mustard flavored sardines. "The bulldyke bitches can't take this boys", cried Yesman. "It turns them into wasted human washing machines". The Society of Wimps roared in approval. Now the Twerps could once again stand tall and fear no woman- bulldyke or not! Each of the thousands of wimps at the meeting was given one can of sardines to carry with them at all times. "No women are going to ever fuck with us again", boasted twerp Casper Milk-toast Yesman. "We are free at last". The boys marched out of the Society of Wimps Hall with heads high and a swagger of confidence. "Fuck the bulldykes" was the collective chant. Little did they know that the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society had just let out from their quarterly meeting too, just down the street. The girls were mad as fuck and ready to get their hands on any male punks that crossed their paths. It looks like a massacre in the making!
Copyright © Dan Sroka 1/16/04, 
5/08
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