Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs #7

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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Bulldyke Gertrude called to order the 37th Quarterly Meeting of the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society. This was going to be a tough one. Gertrude had the unpleasant task of informing the queens that their union dues were about to be doubled. She anticipated trouble. As such, she procured some options to pacify the girls and counter the likely riot that would probably result. She would offer each of the bulldykes either a free diesel powered dildo (or) 30 cans of onion and mustard flavored sardines. Gertrude knew most of the gang would go for the oily dildos- so she stocked up. Unfortunate for her, the bulldykes demanded the sardines. Gertrude was in a real predicament! She was sweating profusely. The Palo Alto Bulldyke Co-op and Sardine Store was closed, and there was a dump truck full of diesel dildos waiting in the parking lot. Gertrude dropped to the stage floor, unconscious. The girls stormed the stage and scarfed up what sardines they could find. The riotous crowd stormed out of the meeting hall in the direction of the Palo Alto Bulldyke Co-op and Sardine Store.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 5/15/01

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Nightly, after work, Wilbur religiously went to Pedro’s for several quarts of malt, some greasy Polish sausages, a pack of cigarettes, and 4 or 5 viewing’s of Debbie Does Dallas. But, tonight, Pedro cramped Wilbur’s style and routine. Pedro’s VHS tape of Debbie had broken and all he had to watch alternatively was Disorder in the Court by the Three Stooges. And, Pedro ran out of malt- he only had 12 oz. cans of regular beer. To add insult to injury, Pedro had no greasy sausages left as a rat ate them last night. What could he appease Wilbur with? Frantically, he searched his dusty, cob web filled pantry. He had 30 cans of onion and mustard flavored sardines from 1968. Pedro opened the cans and dumped the mess on a big platter which he brought out to Wilbur. “On the house, friend.” Wilbur ate every bit of it and told Pedro “from now on I want sardines”. Pedro was up shit crick again. No porno tape- no malt- no sausages and now- no sardines.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 5/15/01,

3/08

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