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Dan Sroka November 1997 Calendar

1 A million French Canadians meet in Montreal for the Million Francophone March...the Francophones shout-maitres chez nous!. At the same time, a million teenage separatist meet in Quebec for the Million teenage-punk rebel March
1 A million Irish women have a gathering at Cork. This collective pep-rally, called the Million Irish Women in Politics March adopts a platform: no males in Irish political endeavors!
1 Both the Hong Kong and Singapore stock markets crash (even though both are closed). Rumors are that there will be a Million Hong Kong Brokers March and a Singapore Million Trader March on monday.
1 Rich Asians immigrants from the Pacific Rim hold a Million Asians March in West Vancouver. After the rally everyone goes shopping at the Pacific Center Mall
1 Hearing of all these marches, rallies and meetings, Buckminster Human-gorilla Shitfest calls an emergency meeting of the Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas... a million Belugas rush to Pittsburgh for the Million Goon Fest/March
2 Not to be out done. the La Patente holds a Million Secret Society March in downtown Quebec. The Tory from Quebec leads the procession of boats down the St. Lawrence to Montreal
2 Saul Paul Sirag, theoretical physicist, announces a new string theory...it has a million dimensions
2 Jiang orders the Peoples Worker Army on red alert...... prepare for a Billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March
2 Everyone suddenly wants million this or that marches.... here are but a few held today: the Million Anglophone March, the Million Texas Boozeboys Drunkfest Parade, the Million Hindu BREATH OF BRAMA conglomerate, the Stuttgarter Gottlieb-Daimler Million Weinersnitzel Festival, the One Million ODed British Teenage Punk Drug Addict Love-in and the Golden Chrysanthemum Crest of the Imperial Family Million Servant Coronation
2 Good Old boy Carolina tobacco farmers solicit Jessee and Strom.....lets have a MILLION TOBACCO ADDICT march!
3 Ugly monster gluesniffer Hbomb Walrus calls off work sick. As usual he has the shits. He visits Dr. Quack who informs him he is infected with C. perfringens. Smelly Walrus lets out a big load right there and exits, headed for Del Taco for a big load up
3 Chumbawamba sells a million and burns out Elton and Dianas candle
3 On Monday Night Football, before a sell-out crowd at Cleveland Stadium the Chernomorets Novorossiisk pound the EC Hannover Turtles 77 to 0.
3 The London Midnight-Post/Mirror prints a shocking story----a million mad cows went on a rampage stomping thousands and killing over 50 in Norwich. The cows were all slaughtered and sent to America to feed the hungry in Tennessee
3 Get educated at 888-481-6028......No gimicks!-- 800-956-7665.....call Australia.......61246 203-273
4 A major riot breaks out as the Allophones attempt to hold a million man march in Montreal at the same time that the Million Acadians March is in progress. The Royal Canadian Mounted Gestapo takes control of the situation and everything is hush-hush
4 The CIA reports that the following sites have more than a million carcinogenic cookies lodged in their bowels: fatman.acay.com.au , dialup-136.dublin.iol.ie , mongoose.state51.co.uk, n9i.cs.man.ac.uk, 199.26.8.212, c04pc06.tekniikka.turkuamk.fi, 132.248.45.72, motnt04-216.stlnet.com , and steelcase-bh.steelcase.com
4 Drunkard BigPicture Sambo heads for a checkup with Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme. Doc tells rubberneck Sambo he must have a laparoscopic kidney transplant as he has been drinking so much of his home-made rotgut wine. Sambo, sweating profusely, calls Chief Hakio Hardturd to report this developement. Hakio says its ok- take a million sick days to recoup
4 An aluminum factory in Krasnoyarsk, Siberia explodes killing a million workers. Yeltsin declares...we will rebuild
4 Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz warns: there are a million ways to leave your lover. Swami Arjuna Dhritarashtra IV announces there ARE a million dimensions and Shaman Voo-Doo E. Ignoramus reports that W and Z bosons will colide with muons, quarks and wavepackets thus the Kaluza-Klein theory is invald
5 In a special parliamentary meeting Maumoon Abdul Gayoo declares--no million anything marches here!
5 Fatboy Lardbucket sheister Doughboy takes in a million calories at breakfast....Behemoth Mastodon Shitpants Buckminster blows a million farts on the bus to work...Ice Princess has a million climaxes today
5 A million winos and bums gather for an informal get together at 8th and Market/Philadelphia
5 The Chronicle of Higher Education reports there are millions of ignoramus goons coming out of our colleges
5 The German Bundesbond Internet Weinersnitzel Foundation bans million anythings in Deutschland
6 Jiang announces the Billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March will be held this saturday..a billion chinese will march from Fujan province to the Mongolia border doing the Peoples work on the way
6 Undercyclothyme conducts surgery on SamboBottleneck. The human wine-bottle is given two artificial kidneys that are powered by massive quantities of alcohol. Now it is imperative that Sambo hit the bottle even harder for his life depends upon it!
6 Chinese paparazzi scope out the route for the Billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March....all is clear
6 Allgemeiner Deutcher Automobil-Club announces dues will now be one million pfennig monthly
6 In the Land down-under a million Fosters beer can March is scheduled and in Buenos Aires plans are drawn up for a festival to Eat a Million tons of Beef
7 Vindictive black-haired wigwoman bitch takes her annual bath. The local water authority warns of the resulting polution
7 Jacques Chirac, Blair and Kohl hold a secret meeting in Rennes.....what are we going to do about all of these marches?
7 After the secret meeting Kohl, Blair and Chirac head to Henri Pauls gravesite to pay their respects to the dearly departed
7 ABC reports a lunatic went berserk killing 65 at the Burger King in Beloit, Wisc. Before he took his own life, the crackpot told police he was tired of all these fucking million man-woman-whatever marches and he was going to put an end to this shit
7 Across the globe, nation after nation bans MILLION-ANYTHING marches. China is the exception, for its billions there
8 In Osaka, the people hold a million man Anti-march and this starts off an epidemic of anti-marches across the world. In St. Petersburg a Million Anti- Studda-Bubba March goes out of control and Yeltsin calls in the Iron Fisted Nikita Gestapo to take control of this non-sence. Anti-everything million marches are held in Baku, Lisbon, Oslo, Port Said, Hong Kong, Windsor, Recife, Birmingham and scores of other localities. Suddenly, it seems the entire world (with the exception of China) is anti-million march crazed. Chirac, Kohl and Blair have yet another secret meeting
8 The German people sleep through the following matches- Hansa Rostock 2, Kaiserslautern 0 and at Hamburger Volksparkstadion 58,000 doze off as SV gets wrecked at the hands of Bayer Leverkusen
8 The Chinese 19th Route Army is mobilized as the Billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March begins a trail of tears to the Mongolian border. Jiang leads the People pontificating about the virtues of hard work and the blessings of ramen noodles
8 At the Whiskeybarrell Pub, the Belugas, CaveBeings, ANUS boys and the Wirepullers hit hundreds of thousands of bottles of beer.....they spread the usual lies/rumors/innuendos: Sambo has a diesel powered kidney on the right and a solar kidney on the left, Ice Princess goes all the way for a lot of sweet nothings , no million woman marches (anti- or not anti) should be permitted- the girls should be home cooking and scrubbing the floors, Hardturd was drunk again last night, the moon IS made of cheese, Elton John is really Otis Redding with white paint on, Henri Paul never drank, etc. etc.
8 Warren Moon signs a 40 year contract with the Edmonton Eskimos...he will be 81 in the final year of the contract
9 At church, the CaveBeings, Belugas, Wireboys and ANUS gang pray for forgiveness and after the service head for Revco to buy face powder to cover over their wives black-eyes which they administered in last night drunken quagmires
9 Greenspan warns......millions will be lost tomorrow! Keep all your money right where it is!
9 Slob shamartist sheister Doughboy sues Alvin Tostig...... my house is flawless. Doughboy gets up on his soapbox playing the usual martyr trip: I have been wronged! I want retribution! Salvation and the promised land are on the horizon! Lets eat!
9 Carolina good old boys, dying left and right of lung cancer, light up big wet dank Carolina Special tobys and huff and puff until their lips turn cancer black/brown. If God didnt want us to smoke, HE wouldnt have made tobacco!
9 Texas good old Boozeboys hit the bottle (Pearl.. that is) until the brewerys run dry then they head for St. Louis and a tour of the Bud facility
10 China Radio/Anshun reports that the Billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March has hit a snag at the Xiang River. The Hunan Famine Secret Police have arrested Jiang as an enemy of the common people and it has been reported he has been exiled to hard labor in Kaohsiung State Ramen noodle factory
10 Insurrection and discord is reported through out China....Sun Yat-sen rises from the dead and assumes leadership and declares..we will have an anti-billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March . The people applaud and tupelo honey is distributed by Yat-sen
10 Gorby watches Lokomotiv Moscow roll over Rotor Volgograd as General Turigidson hits the Geritol with Yeltsin
10 Hash-head Heroinballs, on vacation at High Rock Lake NC, hits plenty of fortified tobacco wet dank with his good buddy Shaman Mahavira-juni Lao-Tze Garu-Guru... the 2 get smoked up and pass out in semi-comas
10 Artifical-kidney SamboAqualung moves his wine bottles around in his cellar. He invites Carlo Rossi over for a real drunk-fest
11 Wall Street sways and staggers as a proposed merger of Ameritech, Bell South, US West, Bell Atlantic, SBC and Texas Wetback Telecom is announced... The new company will be named World Digital Dimensions - headquartered in Cincinnati
11 NASA reports the Cassini space vehicle has suddenly exploded. Even though it was a million miles from earth, the scientist are projecting that all of the radioactive plutonium will land across Canada from the Northwest Territory all the way to Nova Scotia and that the areas involved will be a wasteland for millions of years to come! The radioactive debris will begin entering orbit tomorrow
11 Find out more by calling 800-735-0708 or get a free installation at 800-427-2897
11 SamboWineboy is rushed to the hospital. He has too much streptococcus fecalis in his blood and its making him more psychotic than he usually is. Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme and Dr. Schizobergerwicz agree that this drunkard needs new artifical kidneys and begin an emergency operation. Sambo Rubberneck has two nuclear kidneys implanted and is given his last rights
11 Ed Roland and Will Turpin go Full Circle-sell 20 million and knock Chumbawamba from the top. Wilson Pickett sells a billion in China and the anti-billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March battle cry becomes right on, brother!
12 SBC Warburg lends China Telecom 30 billion US dollars. China Telecom merges with Hong Kong Telecommunications which swoops up British Telecom, Argentine Beef-Phone, MCI, Sprint and Singapore Wireless to become the worlds largest communications network. China Radio/Anshun announces....we are # one......right on!
12 Samboboozehead is near death. Schizobergerwicz confirms he has too many methionine-tRna complexes in his E. coli. Sambos friends and relatives are summoned to his death bed. One by one, many consumed with buckets of tears, Sambos associates bid him farewell. As a symbolic goodbye gesture, comatose renal failure-king is given a pack of chewing tobacco and a deck of cards by Hakio Hardturd. Heroinballs gives him 2 used tear covered syringes, Doinkless Pman crys all over his buddy...etc
12 Over one million Canadian men and women crowd into Regina for the first ever Canadian anti-Suffragette March. CBC estimates over two million were actually present. Post march the women went shopping at the Regina Municipal Cow Barn Mall and the men went moose hunting in northern Manitoba.
12 The Chicago Tribune blasts these marches that have taken hold across the globe. Rejecting this perspective, the Illinois branch of the ACLU announces the scheduling of an Anti-Tribune Million Street-bum/Derelict March from Cicero to the lake front
12 Learning that SamboLiquidman is dying, the boys get Gruesome Shitpants modern-day Caveman Gluesniffer to organize million man marches in honor of the wine factory. The plans are quickly finalized: The Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas will hold an Anti-death Million Beluga March this week end in New York City, in Dallas an Anti- Renal Failure million-ANUS March will be conducted by the Unionized Central Brothers of the American National Union Society (ANUS), The United Brotherhood of Proletariat Manual Workmen will storm Detroit for the Anti- thiobacillus thiooxidans (Save Sambo) million Beast March and the Federated Unionized International Brotherhood of CaveBeings will have an anti-diesel artificial kidney million Cavemen March in Washington DC.
13 China Radio/Anshun bulletin: Jiang has regained power....Sun Yat-sen is AGAIN dead....prepare for the anti-anti-billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March . The people applaud and chamomile tea is distributed by Jiangs yes-men
13 Dalian mayor Bo Xilai has the people scrub the plaza and shine up the cars for the up coming anti-anti
13 El Nino goes crazy...Turkmenistan is covered with 3 feet of snow, Queensland turns into swampland, Sado is destroyed by a massive tidal wave and the entire Lapland is frozen harder than Sambos head
13 Caous is reported throughout Germany. A gang of rebels known as the Beer Hall Putschers has been recruiting young German boys and girls...... BundesTVone has learned Putchscher Heinrich Himmler plans hundreds of million man marches throughout the land. Die Zeit reports that the motive of these anarchists is to bring down the old order...replacing free will and liberty with artificial nanotechnology (MSG pulse-microwave state controlled) brain implants and nuclear powered artificial kidneys
13 Stockmarkets from Frankfurt to London to Hong Kong to Warsaw go bonkers as word hits of new technology
13 Jiang cancels the anti-anti-billion Chinaman/Chinawoman March and orders every single soul to the Peoples Factories to produce pulse-microwave artificial brain implants and artificial nuclear kidneys
14 Hundreds of thousands of artificial brains and nuclear kidneys are shipped out express on the China Ocean Shipping Co. for Bremen, Naples, Valencia, Liverpool, New York City, Copenhagen, Constanta, Vancouver, Lima and San Diego
14 CBS announces Heinrich Himmler has been shot and killed at his Kassel bordello. The Beer Hall Putschers riot and civil unrest is reported from Rostock down to Freiburg. Thousands are killed!
14 Stockmarkets across the globe hit rock bottom as newer technology is announced.... solar powered artificial kidneys and artificial non-randomness quantum electrodynamic spin-particle super-nanontechnology brains will be readily available tomorrow!
14 The Hong Kong market crashes...Worthen Bank loans the HK boys 80 trillion dollars as a bail out
14 Nanotechnology Transplant Specialist Poindexter Skinflint, MD rushes to the aid of the dying RamboSambo. Sambo is administered massive quantities of A. aerogenes, Clostridia, sphaerotilus and C. perfringens in preparation for a history making operation. Skinflint implants a EMG pulse-microwave kidney on the left, a digital macroscopic artificial kidney on the right and a state of the art E8xE8 nano-bundle inverse-String artificial liver. During the operation, one by one Dr. Quack, Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint, Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme and Dr. Schizobergerwicz passed out. All were revived with large amounts of chewing tobacco. Sambo lost a lot of wine satiated blood but the patient is reported in good condition
15 The Nurnberg Ice Tigers are murdered and the Beer Hall Putschers claim responsibility
15 The Anti-Tribune Million Street-bum/Derelict March is cancelled in Chicago as the winos hear that new artificial livers are available and they might have a chance
15 The Belugas, CaveBeings and ANUS gangs gather at Pedros Pool Hall for their usual friday night blasting. Thousands of lies and rumors are spread around as the boys get pulvarized....... Ice Princess is real deep!, You can now get AK-47s at Hills, Sambo never was any fucking good, anyway, du Pont was a big fag, Huizenga should fire Jim, what is that Vroom-Yetton model anyway?, Bam has a big load of crack for sale, Judge Prepuse P. Foreskin is sleeping with Judge De Langle de Cary, etc. etc.
15 ES Wei'wasser is attacked and killed and the Beer Hall Putschers claim responsibility. Putchscher Heinrich Himmler is buried in an unmarked grave
15 The Anti-death Million Beluga March, Anti- thiobacillus thiooxidans (Save Sambo) million Beast March, and the Anti-Renal Failure million-ANUS March are all cancelled as the cribari winebottle head is reportedly getting better
16 The Kaohsiung State Ramen noodle factory declares bankruptsy. Fenerbahce bops Trazonspor
16 A secret meeting is held in Tarnow. Lucas Watzelrode, Ermeland prince-bishop lectures Assad, Mubarak and Hessein on the Meiji Revolution and dangerous thoughts
16 Macroscopic terminal digital cookies are detected at---- springer.pipeline.com.au, 167.west-palm-beach-001.fl.dial-access.att.net, panther.robertshaw.com, bastion1.dbisna.com, sdn-ts-013txfworp10.dialsprint.net, 1cust97.max5.los-angeles-da.ca.da.uu.net, dialup-023.quicklink.com, tspc25.fnal.gov, ww-tr02.proxy.aol.com, ww-pa03.proxy.aol.com, sahp947.sandia.gov, + guava.cms.dmu.ac.uk. The damage is already done!
16 Behemoth Kak Paskahousu Shitpants Mastodon dumps a load that pollutes the entire Ohio valley- hundreds are asphyxiated
16 German Secret Police announce they have apprehended the Beer Hall Putschers.... they are all sent to the gas-chamber
17 McGill University cosmologist announce anti-matter has collided with matter and the unexpected transpired...a million anti-atom march evolved and the reverse-Big Bang has begun. These scientific gurus postulate that the universe will end, as a result of the anti-atom reverse big-bang, in about 8.3 billion years
17 Quasi-preacherman Sheister Slob Doughboy gets up on his soapbox grandstanding again....E8xE8 nano-bundle inverse-String artificial livers are unethical....man was not destined to interfere with the reverse-Big Bang, Lucas Watzelrode is a sharlitan and a slouch, EMG pulse microwaves are good and MSG pulse microwaves are bad.......
17 See Quasi-preacherman Sheister Slob Doughboy! Note: The slob paid the writer big bucks for this calendar line but the money was counterfeit and legal action is being taken against the ugly fat sham-artist
17 PLG has a nightmare: She is attending an anti- MILLION TOBACCO ADDICT March in Kansas City when Nahum and the Pope approach her. Nahum is chewing a giant wad of Mail pouch and spits a big hunk right on her new white blouse and the Pope is huffing and puffing on a 2 foot long wet dank cigar. PLG snaps at her highness and in compliance, he extinguishes the cigar burning a giant hole in the middle of her new blouse. PLG wakes from the nightmare...choaking and unable to breathe
17 A Le Monde story reports that black monday has hit! Paris stocks are at an all time low. Le Monde sports reports that FC Nantes-Atlantique was helpless against Montpellier Herault SC and that both teams are headed for the Ritz for a big alcoholic quagmire and subsequent high speed race through Paris
18 Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint gives the go-ahead to send the artificial/canabalized SamboHambone home from the hospital. Pman escorts the his good buddy cribari-head to his Wexford Chateau Luzerne vinyard and winecellar
18 Hearing that stiffneck has been shipped home, the modern day Cavemen, ugly human Gorillas, stooge-lumox Belugas and the ANUS gang plan a big party. Their collective union dues are used to build a state of the art multi-million dollar winery right on Sambos vinyard
18 Stockmarkets worldwide crash....the world financial community is shocked- the Dutch guilder falls to .09, Danish krone to 1.01 and the Italian lira to 222
18 Protesting that the world is suffering from spiritual pollution Shinichiro Kaneko has himself ground up into human ground meat and his remains are sent to Kentucky to feed the poor
18 Messiah Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II accuses Slob Shamartist Doughboy of being a human waste and challenges him to a 15 round slugfest
19 Shaman Mahavira-juni Lao-Tze Garu-Guru calls bigboy Sheister Doughboy a worthless collection of carbon atoms and challenges the behemoth to a fist fight to the end
19 Meat-eater Cannibal Flatulance-bomb Buckminster Shitpants accuses human-pig Doughboy of infringing upon his domain and threatens to beat the living pork out of him
19 Blackhaired vindictive-bitch Sheister woman calls her slob-hubby Doughboy a worthless piece of shit and hits him in the head with her wrought iron skillet. Slob fatboy is rushed to the ICU
19 Istanbulspor pours it on Karasbukspor and Genclerbirligi slaps up Galatasaray
19 In his hospital bed, fatman Doughboy tells Dr. Schizobergerwicz that everyone is picking on him and he has been martyred and violated. The Doc calls him a big stinking bastard wimp and threatens to take him out in the hallway for a real ass beating
20 Yesman buys a turkey at Krogers. After talking with the cashier for 35 minutes police escort the jabbermouth out to the parking lot, still talking to himself
20 Rubberneck Sambo has a carboy of his home made wine causing his digital macroscopic artificial kidney to konk out
20 Mr. Winebottle is rushed back to the ICU. Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint declares a stat emergency, removing a kidney from Doughboy and transplanting it into the aqualung......Sambos blood pressure drops to 20/19. The prognosis is very bleak
20 Learning that SamboLiquidman is again dying, the boys get Gruesome Shitpants modern-day Caveman Buckminster to organize million man marches in honor of the wine factory. The Beluga go to Buffalo for a stooge march, the Cavemen head for Minneapolis for a grunt-fest march, the ANUS gang plan a brown-hole march in Oakland/San Fran and the Proletariat Manual Workmen schedule a bituminous coal march in Appalachia
20 WVA Police Commissioner Styvestant E. Blosthiggins III declares....no marches here! The Racoon patrol is put on alert
21 Asia stocks crash...Bankok down 20 thousand, Manila melts and Jakarta folds
21 Thousands commit suicide as a direct result of the impending financial doom
21 Power mongers in Moscow, Washington, Bonn and London decided that a war is what we need to remedy this developement
21 In the US the Texas Boozeboys declare war on the Louisiana Good old boy Red Necks, the Jacksonville northern swamp brothers declare war on the south Florida Cuban brigade and the Oklahoma hungry beefeaters attack the Nebraska female-bulls ....the whole nation is startled
21 Wars are reported in no less than 70 nations including Australia, Canada (French and anglo), Spain, Brazil, Chad and India
22 Jiang orders the populace to get to the factories and pump out the AK-47s for shipment round the globe... NOW
22 Sambo hits a quart of Thunderbird and Skinflint pounds the Wild Irish Rose in the ICU. Sambo convinces the Doc that a trip to the Liverlips Bar + Grill is in order and the two leave Doughboy there with one kidney, tears pouring out of the big beast
22 A riot breaks out at Liverlips when the Cavemen, ANUS gang, stinking Belugas and Manual workmen see Sambo walking in the Bar. The collective beasts thought the drunkard was dying! And the lush is in the bar! The boys pulvarize Rambo Rubberneck Sambo and Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint both. Both are rushed to the ICU and the boys cancel all of the scheduled marches pronto
22 China Ocean Shipping Co. and Cosco ship out millions of AK-47s... tankers rush to New York, Perth, Burgas, Alexandria, Liverpool, the Hague.....well, you know the rest of the destinations
22 Bosnia bombs Hercegovina, Soho bombs Leeds, Vasco da Gama bombs Palmeiras, Moscow bombs itself...well, you get the picture
23 All worldwide wars are cancelled for a special November Day of Atonement . Anti-matter becomes dominant (for this special ceremony) and the dead become alive and the living are dead!!!!!
23 The anti-matter dead (or- is it the now-alive dead?) rockout to Funeral for a Friend and dead Jiang orders all the dead populace to get to the dead factories and produce dead Funeral for a Friend CDs NOW!
23 Anti-matter Paul Saul declares string theory is strung out. The ultimate consciousness is unconscious and the Platonic Mind of God is actually the Socratic Mind of Yahweh
23 Wine turns into water and SamboRambo turns into leptospira icterohemorrhagica
23 Billions attend anti-living million dead marches across the planet
24 All wars resume full blast....AK-47s arrive at their destinations. Hydrogen bombs and neutron bombs are dropped everywhere
24 Everyone makes war while in France everyone makes love
24 Field-Marshal Rommel takes charge...we must purge Lower Saxony and head to the top of the Zugspitze! The big beer belly tuba band leads the million beer belly Bundespeople March southward
24 World stockmarkets fly sky high.....trillions of war weapons must be produced...put the whole planet to work!
24 The people rebel- NO MORE WARS. Millions protest! The 1970s drug-addicts/peace nics get out their old love-in duds and parade around talking about blue jean babies and LA Ladies and seamstress for the band . Wars are stopped in their paths and people love it up on the spot and, after the shacking up is complete, a collective mega billion human march is scheduled for this coming week end from Soho to Brighton. Mad-cow cartoon balloons will be sold to comemorate this new awakening and the whole human species is invited
25 Queen Vashti and King Xerxes book a private jet to London. Mayor Luzhkov, Honecker, Husak, Zhivkov + Krenz, Inez Serrano, Estelle, Joseph Garcin + the Valet, Shitpants Buckminster, Rabbi Emanuel Berkovitz, Rodney, Knish + Tilly the Toopster, Eva Gabor, Jim Brown, Ernie Terrell, Judge De Langle de Cary, Helmuth von Moltke, Field-Marshal Kitchener, Heroinballs, Grommie, Wallace + Penguin, PLG, human vegtable Lilliput, Furhman, Schottenheimer, Jacques Chirac, Lt. General Shizuo Yokoyama, Bruce Hornsby+ the Range, Brodrick Crawford, Rotor Volgograd, Spartak Moscow, Dynamo Moscow, Lokomotiv Moscow, Chernomorets Novorossiisk, Alania Vladikavkaz, Fakel Voronezh, Tyumen, Baltika Kaliningrad, Zenin St Petersburg, CSJKA Moscow, masturbating meatball gluesniffer Gruesome Caveman, Rodney King, Eliot Ness and a billion others book flights to London
25 The big beer bellies get tired and stop to rest at the Weinersnitzel Autobahn Guesthaus for about 30 barrels of Heineken
25 NASA and JPL confirm a dark-matter black hole 600 octillion light years from earth has exploded... this represents imminent doom for the human species and is being watched closely by the Hubble dudes
25 Stocks fall drastically as word spreads the end is near
25 The collective mega billion human march is cancelled as people are filled with anxiety over what the cosmos has in store for us........
26 Slob Doughboy is released from the hospital. Outside his dump he is brutally attacked and mauled by Meat-eater Cannibal Flatulance-bomb Buckminster Shitpants, Shaman Mahavira-juni Lao-Tze Garu-Guru, Messiah Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II, and his gruesome monster wife. The slob is sent back to the ICU near death
26 Tanked up Sambo rushes to the hospital offering to donate his liver to the human pig Doughboy but Sambo is rejected
26 At Pedros Pool Hall lies and rumors fly like empty beer bottles....... Who said this was the end?...... Those Nazi mongers are nothing but alkys drinking up all our beer anyway!.... Ice Princess took Farouk to another dimension last night.... there are no black holes and who in the hell is Saul Paul? Is that Pedros brother?.... Who in the hell do you think YOU are anyway?...... etc.
26 The German Bundesbond Internet Weinersnitzel Foundation bans these sites as Nazi sympathesizers: 128.220.142.135, hdn104-016.hil.compuserve.com, thing-apc.austin.asc.slb.com, www1.access.bt.com , ngate.swissre.ch , ww-te65.proxy.aol.com, 1cust122.max3.phoenix.az.ms.uu.net, 215.middletown-06.va.dial-access.att.net, van-as 14c09.direct.ca, gauntlet.mccarthy.co.za, nat1.alcatel.no , proxy04.compaq.com, 145.44.65.115, jekyll.monsterboard.com.au, orl-fl1-23.ix.netcom.com, japan-86.ppp.hooked.net, 172.dallas-06.tx.dial-access.att.net, ww-ta01.proxy.aol.com, hfd-2e-15.cnetech.com and ww-ta04.proxy.aol.com..... all sites are condemed to electronic cyber death
26 The Schwenninger Wild Wings take a fight with millions of magpies and dump tons of feces on the Czech Republic
27 Ugly caveman Stinkfest drops another Three Mile Island sufur/methane explosion wrecking the Wilmerding Soup Kitchen
27 Nahum confers with Nebuchadnezzar at the Tower of Babel. Its right on, brother for Yahweh is after Job
27 PLG has another nightmare......THIS ALL IS REAL!!!!!!
27 Hardturd and Sambo call their brokers about getting world catastrophe bonds from the Lippo center
27 El Nino plays its role as floods, earthquakes, blizzards, vicious storms, tornados and scores of other natural disasters wreck Thanksgiving for millions across America
28 The turkey-stuffed human gorillas, Baluga-Belugas, Cavemen and ANUS numbskulls spend the entire day slopping up booze at the Cavemans Den and the Homestead Funky-Hunky Speak-easy as their live-in common law wives spend all day at the Palacio de los Duques de Alba mall and their illegitimate kids take massive doses of crack coke, heroin and morphine and kill each other in drug induced fits of rage
28 The Hong Kong fat cats send the Wall Street money mongers email stating.. WE CONTROL THE WORLD! but the New York City boys are on their way to East Rutherford and never receive the message
28 The million beer belly Bundespeople March arrives at the top of the Zugspitze. Fuhrer Braunschweiger says....boy, its cold up here!
28 Shaman Voo-Doo E. Ignoramus preaches you have nothing to fear...things are not what they seem
28 CNN announces that the worlds greatest sheister/shamartist Doughboy died. The massive gruesome monster will be ground up to make swine feed
29 Vindictive mean-spirited Bitch cashes in her life insurance on the carcas of the dead human-waste husband
29 Bitch woman works the street but finds not one taker
29 Stiffneck BigPicture Sambo moves his wine barrels around in his cellar ...one 400 pounder rolls over his foot but he is so embalmed he doesnt feel a thing
29 Millions of modern day cavemen, 30.06s in hand head to the backlands hoping to kill millions of bucks
29 Mad cows flare up stampeeding through Leeds, London, Manchester, Bristol, Exeter, etc. Hundreds are injured in the rampage
30 Across the world people pray for this all to end
30 The Belugas accuse the United Brotherhood of killing too many bucks and the Brotherhood says that the Federal Belugas are shooting doe. The Belugas start shooting the Brotherhood. 13 goons are fatally shot
30 Plans are announced for another Million teenage-punk rebel March, this one scheduled for Sherbrooke
30 Shaman Mahavira-juni Lao-Tze Garu-Guru declares Slob Sheister Doughboy was a visionary we all should respect and model our lives after
30 Hundreds of Cavemen, Belugas and Anus boys eat raw deer meat, paying homage to their ancestors

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Dan Sroka World Famous Calendars and Short Stories
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Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea
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