Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea Volume #15

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Dan Sroka Presents Digital Diarrhea Volume #15

She’s Got Everything and You’ll Get Nothing!

(DDNS) Many people have written (about 3) and asked to see the staff of Digital Diarrhea. Well, actually that’s not true. There are only two of us here, and no one has asked about the editor. The inquiries have all been to see Digital Diarrhea’s star reporter- Helena Frenulum Hymen. And, man are you in for a treat.

Reporter Helena, who does just about all of the main stories covered in Digital Diarrhea, agreed to have her picture posted in this special edition. She did specify, in no uncertain terms however, that she would not pose nude. What Helena said she would do, is give you a little enticing shot, just to “wet your whistle”, so here you have it- Helena Frenulum Hymen in all of her natural glory.

Our star reporter expounded: “I’ve got it all. Youth, beauty, a great body, a fantastic personality, and, most of all, I’m intelligent. I don’t have the best job in the world, but that will change. And, with all I’ve got- you readers out there will get nothing from me but my reporting. So, don’t even ask, inquire, or send any further requests to see pictures of me. I will not strip naked, do porno, or be involved in any of the ludicrous shenanigans that are constantly reported on in the Digital Diarrhea News Service rag”.

“I’m doing my time here with DDNS until I get a position with a reputable news service or media group. And that won’t take too long. My professional credentials are some of the best around, and soon I’ll be with the New York Times, CBS News or one of many other media giants. And it won’t be because of my fantastic looks or my stunning body or my super personality. It will be because I’m smart!, stated Hymen.

DDNS Editor Dan Sroka warns media moguls and competing news service agencies- “Don’t even attempt to fuck around with Hymen. If you hire her away from Digital Diarrhea- we will sue your fucking corporate asses for everything you got. Billions- if that’s what you are worth. DDNS has a long term contract with Reporter Hymen and we will make her live up to her commitment, one way or the other. So- buzz off fuckers- you’ll get nothing here!"

4/08

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