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Dan Sroka Presents Digital Diarrhea Volume #4

Worlds First Penis/Cranium Transfer Fails

Seattle, WA (DDNS) The Digital Diarrhea News Service has uncovered the most unbelievable and controversial story in journalistic history. You are warned, in advance, that this report is not for the faint of heart and is filled with specific, detailed, uncensored, no-holds-barred information that potentially could make individuals of a weak constitution squeamish. If you think you may be negatively affected by the content of this story, stop reading now. DDNS will in no way be liable for the consequences of your reading of this shocking information.

Our esteemed and award winning reporter Helena Frenulum Hymen has informed DDNS that the unthinkable has occurred in this soggy northwest city. Surgeons have remove both the head and cock of a man and reattached each at the location of the other. Reporter Hymen indicates this heretofore unprecedented surgical operation happened in Seattle’s Woodland Park Hospital for the Criminally Insane back in March of this year. The surgeons and medical staff of the facility attempted to cover up the operation, since it was so controversial and even unethical, not to mention the fact that the man involved died shortly after the procedure was completed. Reporter Helena Frenulum Hymen, internationally known for her ability to sniff out the truth no matter what the circumstances, stuck with this unbelievable case. Over two months of undercover work in intimate surroundings, both inside and out of the Woodland Park Hospital for the Criminally Insane paid off for our reporter. The following is the reporters basic chronological history/synopsis of this absolutely astonishing case and its tragic fatal ending.

Big Bill Bulbous was born in 1958 in Dallas, Texas. He was the illegitimate son of a Dallas slut/hooker who gave the boy up to an adoption agency. Bill reportedly grew up, more or less as a gypsy, roaming throughout Texas and Louisiana. At first he was with a military family that adopted him. Later, he spent his preteen and teenage years with countless cheap whores, drug addicts, (for a time in the 70s hippies and Love Children), hard core alcoholics and street level criminals. The name Big Bill came in early, for the roughneck sludge bucket was a big man even as a teen- 300 lbs., 6 foot, 7 inches tall. But the real “big bulbous” was the equipment he held and that is where the nick-name came into play. Any number of women and any number of men have attested to that fact, according to the investigation of reporter Hymen. Her report even indicates animals being ruined by interactions with Big Bill Bulbous.... countless sheep found ripped up throughout eastern Texas were attributed to BBB.

Reporter Hymen’s shocking history continues. Big Bill was always in trouble with the law-murders, rapes, robbery, hijackings, grand theft, drug trafficking. You name it, he was involved in it. What made Big Bill Bulbous’ version of this different from your average Texan however was the magnitude with which he executed. His was always bigger and more forceful and more devastating. Big Bill Bulbous could never be satiated. If he heard (he could not read) about someone else robbing a bank, or killing people in a car wreck, he’d take that as motivation/inspiration to do one up...a bigger bank robbery, a more massive car wreck. Back in those days Big Bill Bulbous did not have much insight into what was controlling him, he was on one constant never ending ravenous rampage. Helena Frenulum Hymen’s toll count, as best as can be measured, is over 400, not including animals.

This human beast went berserk in the southland until virtually every law enforcement official in Texas and Louisiana set out to capture the animal. At some point around 1990 he headed north and eventually ended up in Washington state. State Police, at that same time, began searching for what they believed to be a monstrous bear. Several women and men were found sexually molested and otherwise mauled in Edgewood, Pacific and Kent. Only post facto, thanks to the investigative work of Hymen, do authorities realize this all was Big Bill Bulbous rampaging northward toward Seattle. The terrain had changed but the pattern had not.

The public threat ended in 1995 when Big Bill Bulbous was arrested by Seattle cops after raping 10 women at a high school graduation party on Mercer Island. BBB was convicted of 10 counts of involuntary deviant sexual intercourse and was sentenced to 179 consecutive years in prison with no possibility of parole. The notorious killer and human gorilla was placed in Woodland Park Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

Unfortunately, his activity did not end there. Although hospital records do not report such, BBB continued his ways at Woodland. Reporter Hymen found evidence of murders and rapes from 1995 through the end of 1998. 14 doctors/staff are unaccounted for in that same time period. And that leads directly to the surgical transfer that was done at the facility in March.

Helena Frenulum Hymen learned that surgeons removed Big Bill Bulbous’ head and his cock, and transplanted each in place of the other. The rationale for the procedure was that this menace would be less of a threat to the medical staff, patients and himself. It was clear Bulbous was ruled by his one head and not the other, so surgeons decided to put each in it’s proper anatomical place (in this particular circumstance).

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending upon your perspective, the surgery failed and Big Bill Bulbous died just hours after the operation was completed at the Woodland Park Hospital for the Criminally Insane. The lead staff surgeon, who shall remain anonymous for purposes of this story (he’s currently shacking up with Ms. Hymen) indicated “there simply were not enough arteries to supply the needed blood for Mr. Bulbous new head in his cervical area. By contrast, there were far too many blood supply connections in his groin, where his old head was attached, and his brain was flooded with blood. He drowned of excessive plasma of the cranium.”

That’s not the end of the story either. Reporter Hymen has learned that someone dug up the grave of Big Bill Bulbous and his head is missing. She doesn’t know which head it is, at this point, but is working overtime to ascertain which of Bulbous’ heads was stolen from the grave and who stole it. “I’ll do more undercover work” stated Hymen, as she rushed off in the direction of the Woodland Park Hospital for the Criminally Insane.

Notice: Once Helena Frenulum Hymen has more detail on the missing Bulbous head Digital Diarrhea will immediately inform its readers with all the pertinent details.

4/08

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