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Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea News Service News Briefs V1
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Bundesbordelloland Babe
Offers Free Oral Sex
Darmstadt, Germany (DDNS) If you are going to be in Hessen in the near
future you may want to stop by the castle for some action. In an effort to counter the popularity of the famous Bavarian Oktoberfest, one of
Darmstadt’s favorite damsels has agreed to give out free tongue jobs
to the first 200 dudes who can get it up! None other than the famous Frauline Fellatio Freda
will be back in her home town starting October 1st, and all the signs are
that she will be getting all kinds of male juices all over her pretty face. The Queen of oral activity will not discriminate against females either. She recruited Rabbi
Emanuel Berkovitz and he has agreed to “do the works” on
the first 200 women that show up at the castle.
If you require further detail on the Freda/Berkovitz Darmstadt Tongue Job Extravaganza, send email with your questions to killerdildo@safe-mail.net
British Say Beef Is Good
For You
London, UK (DDNS) The British Medical Authority has declared it is healthy
to eat beef. In fact, they recommend you eat lots and lots of the meat.
Particularly, British beef, sometimes called “mad cow meat”. At
a London Press conference, Sir Heddington P. Beeffart
told reporters “British beef has been shown to dramatically increase
testosterone levels in males and estrogen levels in females. This is
unequivocal evidence that beef, particularly beef from mad cows in the
United Kingdom, is good for you. Our men and women are eating beef by the
bucket full, and they are having plenty of hot sexual
interactions as a result. It don’t matter if it’s cooked to a
burnt crisp- or if its raw. British beef is the best- blokes”, slobbered out Beeffart, just prior to going into an
extensive catatonic seizure in which he began foaming at the mouth and
shaking violently. Beeffart was escorted away from the podium and placed in
a straight jacket as hundreds of Londontown hunkies and street bums rushed
the stage to get buckets of beef. One hungry human grizzly bear troll
stated “We ain’t been this well treated since the middle
ages”, as people began eating beef with their bare hands from
galvanized buckets.
Digital Diarrhea News
Service Wins Esteemed Award
New York City, NY (DDNS) Your own favorite news service has won the 42nd
annual Peabody-Plimpton Award for Outstanding Journalism. No one
attended the award ceremony, other than the two honorees, Digital
Diarrhea News Service editor Dan Sroka, and DDNS entrepreneur Thorn Shunt.
Peabody-Plimpton executive Orki Hetus, left a hand written statement with
the award reading “I regret I will not be able to attend the 42nd
annual award ceremony. I’ve had the shits for 2 days now- I’m
dehydrated”. Award winner editor Sroka stated “Who am I...Where am I at? and internet mogul Shunt offered “is it hump day yet?”.
The Peabody-Plimpton Award for Outstanding Journalism offers no financial
renumeration- in fact- receiving the award requires the honorees to pay
Peabody-Plimpton lots of money. Shunt stated “I’m already
bankrupt- so it’s all up to that asshole!”
Copyright © Dan Sroka, 9/25/99, 
6/08
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