Questions and Answers
Mr. Magpie:
I stopped smoking over one year ago. I used to smoke a pack or more every day and I did that for over 20 years. Now, I'm smoke free. I chew tobacco and hit a can or two of snuff daily, but I'm smoke free- no one could argue with that. Well, on my last physical exam/check up with my doctor, it was learned I have lung cancer, cancer of the esophagus, oral carcinoma, brain stem malignancy, cancerous intestinal polyps and stomach cancer. My doctor told me that the cancers are so well developed I will not need to undergo chemotherapy or any other kind of treatment. I have lost a lot of weight recently, but I thought it was due to the fact that I kind of lost my appetite. Now, I realize it's the cancer and I also have come to the startling acknowledgement that I am going to die. Why did I do it? I'm only 45 years old. I don't deserve this fate. Can you help?
Smokin Joe Porcupine
Mr. Smokin Joe:
Looks like your ass is cooked for good this time! So you got plenty of enjoyment from all that smoke and you're still a tobacco user, smoke or no-smoke. No, I can't help you but just think of this. It's possible in the future that various state class action lawsuits will permit smokers to recoup medical damages from the tobacco companies. This could mean literally thousands of dollars for each and every smoker but you'll be dead- so this won't help you at all. Adios, amigo.
Hey Magpie:
I hate everyone. In fact, I hate you more than I hate most people. You are a no-good mother fucking bastard that corrupts the minds of our innocent youth and negatively influences thousands with your vile corrupted literary garbage. If I had a pistol right now I would kill you. I'm going to let everyone of my friends know about your filth and they too will write you and condemn your illegitimate advice for the trash that it is. You might be able to corrupt ignorant uneducated shit heads that don't have an ounce of credibility to them but you will not influence my people. Where I come from they would stone your ass to death and believe me, you are going to pay for the trash you propagate. I'm going to see to it that you are hung by your balls in a public mockery that will make Sodom and Gomorrah appear saintly.
Wighead Bitch
Hey Wighead Bitch:
You poor persecuted vindictive cyclothymic personality. Take your pompous, self righteous, holy self to the bathroom for a well deserved self administered enema and give it to your people as well.
Email
magpie
5/08
