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Dan Sroka December 1990 Calendar
- 12/1 strange monolith spotted on Moons surface-Hubble takes (blurry)
pictures
- 12/1 Aja enjoys the desert heat.. kept busy day and night
- 12/1 Proxima.centauri merges with Vega- renamed Ox-Dup condo
- 12/1 Noll says tomorrow I get #200! Walton in a drunken stuppor at Red
Neck Saloon
- 12/1 Teravecka Correspondance School sends PLG her Doctor of
Psychiatry degree
- 12/2 Bengals blast Steelers 115- 0. Noll outraged. Now 199-198 and mad
as hell
- 12/2 Lilliput cooks up mutton grease stew- super cholesterol inducer
- 12/2 Construction starts on bridge to nowhere over Darragh Street
- 12/2 NASA in chaos .......Sagan says we got to get to the moon quick!
- 12/2 PLG celebrates her new academic achievement- pours on the
Thunderbird!
- 12/2 Bertha very upset with Steelers.. goes haywire and kills 15 in
WPIC
- 12/2 Pitt sold to the state...CAS to be sold to CMU (free gratis)
- 12/3 Biomed gets 11 new CPUs- capacity now 70 octabyte storage w/
12,500 users
- 12/3 Biomed folds.. bankrupt.. state buys it and sells it to CMU (free
gratis)
- 12/3 Starzl assumes new career.. brain transplants... Bertha first on the list
- 12/3 Quick-Quack Psychoanalysis center opened in Oakland by PLG
- 12/3 Foreman consumes half a ton of salad at the Original Hot Dog shop
- 12/4 Stooge goon dups check into PLGs Nut House for a mental workout
- 12/4 SAA sends Russ more nasty email- this time about those garbage
modems
- 12/4 Lilliput is persistent.. 11 more F-s logged on transcript!
- 12/4 Jane C. and DS caught in a Shadyside brothel... both locked up
- 12/4 Sagan says that our mandate is to go to the moon expeditiously
- 12/4 PLG declares/certifies the Goon dups quasi-neurotic, psychotic
degenerates
- 12/5 NASA asks for volunteers for a trip to the moon..a secret list or
recruits estab.
- 12/5 DS busts out of jail and leaves Jane C. with a rendezvous with
the electric chair
- 12/5 Starzl cuts open Berthas skull... shocked.....full of maggots
- 12/5 the Oxy-dups, psychotic to the hilt, offer to be guinea pigs for
moon shot
- 12/6 Penguins announce Mario will be out until 2077..they order lots
of formaldehyde
- 12/6 Dr. PLG sued for malpractice...class action suit asks for $50
million in damages
- 12/6 termites invade the 2nd floor of the VB.... LRC closed
permanently
- 12/6 Hilda spends an evening with Matilda... Gertrude drops in for tea
and hershey kisses
- 12/6 bridge to nowhere torn down for construction of a yellow brick
road to WPIC
- 12/7 Spain declares war on Italy.. cannon balls fired all over Europe
- 12/7 Oxen like dups travel to Houston for interviews...Lilliput
prompts them
- 12/7 Jane C. fried at Levitown...... DS morns her loss
- 12/7 City Police move in to close down Quick-Quack Psychoanalysis
center
- 12/7 PLG arrested for fraud and thrown in the klink without bail!
- 12/8 Foreman arrested in Talahassee.. too many sausages under his belt
- 12/8 Noll says 200 tomorrow- or else!. Walton stone drunk at Bobbys
Waterhole III
- 12/8 Lilliput serves up Creole Arland Saunders PLG receipt for odd
shaped meatballs
- 12/8 Texas declares Toodles radioactive- all evacuated!
- 12/9 NASA says the stooge fool dups are it. Only Sagans approval
awaits!
- 12/9 Quick-Quack Psychoanalysis center burns to the ground...$75,000
damage
- 12/9 Steelers pounded 70-6. Arts maggots turn blue. Noll punches
Walton out
- 12/9 Edye Tarbox moves back to Pittsburgh.. becomes spokesperson for
Ross Park Mall
- 12/10 PLG bailed out by Presidential decree.. Bush sends her to
Houston
- 12/10 Sagan approves of the stooge dups as the guinea pigs.. PLG slips
him some cash
- 12/10 Columbia converted to freighter status..equipped with 12 neutron
bombs
- 12/10 Lilliput pours Night Train down lounge drain.... it corrodes all
pipes
- 12/10 Aja says the midddle east is GREAT! Wants more....
- 12/10 SAA invites Earl Campbell to a tobacco chewing extravaganza
- 12/10 NZXT virus prevalent in yellow cheese...Foreman eats 17 lbs of
Cracker Barrel!
- 12/10 mass murders in Houston and Cape Caneveral...........
- 12/10 super-Quack PLG flys back to Pittsburgh with a message from
Sagan
- 12/10 Foreman drops a big turd right in the middle of Forbes Ave!
- 12/11 Lilliput drops a big fat F final grade on her transcripts!
- 12/11 Oxy-dups ran thru the paces for flight training..a real quagmire
- 12/11 Oxydol sues the ox-like goon-stooge-fool-nurd dups for $400
million
- 12/11 SAA lambastes HH agent... DS buys Berthas oozi and goes to
agents office
- 12/12 super-Quack PLG says Sagan said the ox-fools are on a date
--with death--
- 12/12 Lilliput, stone drunk on quarts of sherry, smashes nose into
sidewalk
- 12/12 Starzl closes up Berthas skull... a hopeless endeavor
- 12/12 Mildred punches Olivia Oxcart where it hurts..guess where?
- 12/13 The Slow-Charlatan Psychoanalysis Center opened by Dr. PLG in
Oakland
- 12/13 Sagan says watch out for those giant --comments-- headed for
earth!
- 12/13 Dan D. -spanks- Gertrude... no more yellow pudding after dinner
- 12/13 a major earthquake rocks Dallas- whole city destroyed
- 12/14 Bush says --let the goon-dups fly--!
- 12/14 super-Quack PLG slips Sagan more cash... Bush pads her purse
- 12/14 SAA introduces Earl Campbell to Joe Campbells gravesite
- 12/14 Oxen dups given laughing gas test....more fiascos develope
- 12/14 Lilliput cooks up muscatel/rice ball mush with yellow turnips
- 12/15 Foreman excretes a mass of turds right in the middle of Ross
Park Mall
- 12/15 Slow-Charlatan taken over by consortium of MHCD/PUH/E+E
- 12/15 super-Quack Dr. PLG given the axe for mal-practice..out in the
street
- 12/15 mid-east stalemate over...Aja mad as hell and willing to fight
for it!
- 12/15 Noll kicks Walton in the butt...no more drunken saloon visits
- 12/15 Noll horse whips whole team..get me 200 tomorrow, or else!!!!!!
- 12/15 Nolls record drops to 199-201.. Steelers pounded deeper than
Arts bones
- 12/16 NASA gets shuttle ready....fool-dups do a --dry run--
- 12/16 Russ says the calendar is a waste...cancels entire program
- 12/16 Wilma Wildabeast marries Mick (again)..Bertha looks for Foreman
- 12/16 Sagan digs up Carl Jung and Joe Campbell for --bare bones--
consultation
- 12/17 Buster Douglas checks out Foreman training in St. Paul...447
lbs!
- 12/17 moon over Parador go on strike...Io explodes-causing core dump
#2,609
- 12/17 Posvar hires Dr. PLG as his --interim-- secretary
- 12/17 Lilliput burries head/nose in sidewalk after 4 bottles of rum
hit her
- 12/18 Russ barraged with email about his calendar policy..from SAA
mainly!
- 12/18 Sagan says the --bones have spoken--..Launch those psychotic
nurds soon
- 12/18 a giant comet spotted by Hubble..blurry as it can be..headed for
Earth!
- 12/18 Lilliput get transcript....expelled from CGS for incompentency
- 12/19 Creole Arland Sanders PLG cooks Posvar --legs of Pigeon
canterbury--
- 12/19 a run on smokless tobacco hits the nation... SAA miffed again
- 12/19 Jane C. reincarnated as Louie Liverlips the 4th
- 12/19 DS invited Bertha to a gun collectors auction..rounds fired
everywhere
- 12/19 Gertrude spends the evening with Philip..what is going on here?
- 12/19 Murnau brothels shut down.. out of business
- 12/20 Space shuttle OXCART 7 launched from Caneveral..goon-dups in
shock!
- 12/20 Foreman --blows out-- the rear...what a mess...weight down to
467 now!
- 12/20 --interim-- secretary super-Quack Dr. PLG --closes down-- the
university
- 12/20 Biomed gets 52 more cpus....now larger than the Fed. govt.
- 12/20 Russ gets a healthy pay increase... $50,000 bonus..almost a
Pirate now
- 12/21 Oxcart 7 off course-heads straight for the Sun! Sagan says get
it right!
- 12/21 Texas sells Toodles to Mexico (again)... for 17 tacos, this time
- 12/21 DS jogs 3 miles today..sidetracked by Foremans --remains--
- 12/21 Oxcart 7 meandears all over the stratosphere..goon dups out of
it
- 12/21 PLG says -the hell with it- and retires..Lilliput pounds the
cement again
- 12/22 Termites leave the LRC...mystery # 79......
- 12/22 Sagan names the giant comet --No Comment--..to colide with Earth
in weeks
- 12/22 Foreman drinks some of PLGs --yellow soup--- gets very sick- in
ICU
- 12/22 stooge oxen-beings set a course for Mars ..really in outer space!
- 12/22 Noll says I want #200.. throws a temper-tantrum and stabs Walton
- 12/23 PLG travels to the Missouri river to observe brown
bolders/yellow water
- 12/23 NASA orders Goon dups to be eliminated...bombs on Oxcart 7 set
to blow!
- 12/23 Walton guides Steelers to easy victory 17-16... Noll fired!
- 12/23 Aja starts another middle east conflict..Shevernadze gets in on
action
- 12/23 Big boy Foreman eats 300 kielbasa sandwiches at Original Hot Dog Shop
- 12/23 LRC burns down- all lost....Termites vacate (permanently)
- 12/24 NASA- in a Christmas eve extravaganza- blows up Oxcart 7-skys
light up!
- 12/24 Lilliput and Walton roam the streets and gutters in drunken
stuppors..
- 12/24 Skol Bandits hijack Toodles and annex it with Mexico
- 12/24 Yellow soup with brown blobs of meat said to cure NZXT virus!
- 12/24 Nation saved by Creole Arland Sanders PLGS garbage receipt
against NZXT
- 12/24 DS jogs 4 miles averting Foremans expelled kielbasa waste
materials
- 12/24 Goon dups rest in peace.....DS has --no comment-- on the matter
- 12/24 Missouri River floods- PLG --swept away-- in yellow tide/brown
bolders
- 12/24 Nations banks fail.... FIDC declares BANKrupsy!!!!!!
- 12/24 Hubble sees Blurry image of --two goons-- floating in outer
space...
- 12/25 Biomed blows up with the help of Lilliput, Gertrude and Merle
- 12/25 Russ called in from Christmas dinner to rectify biomed
catastrophe
- 12/25 Lilliput serves up cajan spam with yellow sauce and brown blocks
- 12/25 SAA and DS stalk agent... holiday murder likely
- 12/25 Bertha and Foreman pound it out over -Cajun Kielbasa-..neither
wins
- 12/25 NZXT virus nearly eliminated...Nation salutes with brown and
yellow flags
- 12/25 Capuse eliminated for faculty..too much -wasted- time on cpus
- 12/25 Bush declares war... 700,000 troops on way to middle east..Aja
hungry
- 12/26 Dan D. slaps Jane C. right in the face.. she kicks him in the
mouth
- 12/26 blurry hubble picture spots monolith near goons floating in
space
- 12/26 Italy declares war on Spain.. cannon balls all over Europe...
- 12/26 Quick-Quack Neurotic Pool Hall opens in Northgate Mall
- 12/26 Saturn and Europa juxtaposed...look out!
- 12/27 sloppy brown meatballs for all..PLG lets open the flood gates
- 12/27 Starzl wants to --operate-- on Bertha --one more time--
- 12/27 Big Boy Foreman checks in at 597 lbs.. in TOP shape!
- 12/27 Mario begins phase 72 of rehab.. will play by 2079 or else
- 12/28 Hilda and Wilma drink soup and brown meatballs..both barf
- 12/28 Mon River clogged by big barge..full of Foremans --waste--
- 12/28 Quick-Quack Neurotic Pool Hall burns to the ground..16 burned to
death
- 12/28 cops arrest PLG for arson... again
- 12/28 Lilliput and Jessica rush to jail to bail out arsonist
- 12/28 odd ball goons floating in space drift toward earths
orbit/gravity
- 12/29 PLG bailed out by funds from local bank failures
- 12/29 Sagan says --get those oxy-nurds back here--.. NASA sends a
balloon up
- 12/29 Mon river turns brown and yellow-barge tips over-waste
everywhere!
- 12/29 Bertha shoots 16 at Penguin game.. Olivia stabs Bertha
- 12/29 LDC/Pills lab burns down.. arson suspected..PLG likely culprit
- 12/29 Wilma serves Mick beans galore.. Foreman jealous!
- 12/29 Noll says... 200 or else... team drops for 450 each-due to
laziness
- 12/29 Pittsburgh Press goes up to $1.75 per copy, effective Jan 1,
1991
- 12/29 NASA balloon -confiscates- the goon dups...they are sent to
Houston
- 12/30 Lilliput feels -big-.. tackles a gallon on Night Train Express
- 12/30 Sagan says --put these fools-- in the nut house.. Rooms at WPIC
reserved
- 12/30 major riot in Memphis- 68 killed, 4,702 injured.. Bertha not
involved
- 12/30 DS shoots himself thru the brain with a AK 47...cremated at
incinerator
- 12/30 Foreman- on a special diet- eats 52 bushels of green pepers
- 12/30 PLG and Lilliput go to Flee Market.. buy a Texas Inst. computer
- 12/30 Campbell goes -hunting- for Jung......Arts bones rattle/roll
- 12/30 Astrodome explodes as Steelers get bashed 75-3!
- 12/30 Post Gazette announces price increase of $.50 daily
- 12/30 Hilda visits Jane C.- they --plan-- scheneganns for 1991
- 12/30 Police looking for PLG (again)- booze and arson dont mix!
- 12/31 Mon river plugged SOLID with waste- whole south side putrid....
- 12/31 news years resolution for SAA- smokless tobacco 15 times a
day/everyday
- 12/31 Goon dups -celled- in WPIC on a --long term basis--
- 12/31 Russ drops bomshell #25-- moving on to NASA (no reconsidering)
- 12/31 Biomed explodes.......PLG seen in electrical closet..Campus cops
invest.!
- 12/31 City cops arrest Lilliput, Bertha and Foreman..on a drunken
spree
- 12/31 Jung looking for Campbell..Arts bones turn brown!
- 12/31 Moons over Parador disappear...........Lon Chaney rises from
dead
- 12/31 DS --reconstituted-- as Harry Truman.. no bucks stop here!
- 12/31 calendar blows up---- this time for good!!!!
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