You Have The Wrong President

Shocking, disgruntling news comes out of Florida. Just when you thought the US Presidential election was over and decided, new word comes from this old fogy state- that you have the wrong man for President!

“That’s true”, stated Chad Dimple, director of the Board of Electors in Oxcart County, Florida. “You see, we found a room full of uncounted punch ballots that we just happened to forget about, after the election, until this morning. We tallied up the thousands of votes in the room and 28,970 were for Gore and 3 were for President elect Bush! So, needless to say, you have the wrong man going into the White House!”, stated Mr. Dimple, as he stashed big wads of $100 bills in all of his pockets.

Mr. Dimple further commented that all of the “lost” ballots were immediately burned in a big bonfire after they were counted. “It’s been pretty cold down here recently. A lot of cold Canadian air filtered in and we needed something to keep us warm, so those lost ballots made a nice big fire that kept us cozy for some time”.

Chad Dimple made it quite clear than no political shenanigans occurred in Oxcart County or anywhere else in Florida, as far as that goes. “We are old people and we forget a lot. Have you never forgotten something? We just happened to forget about that room of ballots. Who knows, maybe we will find another room of uncounted ballots next week and President Bush will pull back into the lead! With all this cold weather coming down into our state we need material to keep warm with. Now that I think of it- I think there IS a room in the rear that has stacks of stuff in it. I’m going to look now” stated Mr. Dimple, as he moved slowly and deliberately toward the back of the Oxcart County Municipal Building.

3/08

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