America's leading INDEPENDENT adult humor network/content provider
Dan Sroka's Humor Network banner

Mogougou Boys Declare Independence

Zrazilindi, Mogougou Island. Decades of suffering, pain, repression and inferiority ended last week when the Mogougou Island Boys declared their independence from the British Empire. Newly appointed President and Chief honcho Srijgihi Veldondo Aspratomomonus (Mogougou for “Number One Dude”) held a news conference from the capital of Zrazilindi in which he denounced years of imperialistic and autocratic rule by the British on this small South Pacific island of 47 people. All 47 citizens of the newly declared nation state attended the news conference/independence celebration. The official name of the newly christened nation will be “ Mogougou Srivli Zenomandi Ollipoggi ” or, in English “Independent Kingdom of the Pacific Rim”.

President Srijgihi Veldondo Aspratomomonus strongly denounced the former British rule. “We hate those damn union-jack war mongers. All they did was exploit us for 427 years! Now, we are free. And, we’ve tested our first h-bomb, and it worked. So - look out London town!”

Vice President Admorsha Fonctillius Taraciouu (Mogougou for “Number Two Woman”) spoke up... “We are tired of being treated like servants. We have plenty of resources in this land of God. We have more eggs per capita than any nation on earth. Our boys have found a way to get hash oil in the eggs, and if you’ve had a Mogougou Boys Hash oil Egg- you know God lives here. We ain’t cleaning no British mansions no more. We got a big bomb and you imperialistic/capitalistic dogs will pay for your wrong doings”.

Aspratomomonus and Taraciouu led the other 45 Independent Kingdom of the Pacific Rimers to the newly built Zozombi Obliorgi Homnoptu (Mogougou for “People’s Hash-egg Hut”) for an independence declaration, egg blowout and strategy session for dropping a hydrogen bomb on London. Inside the Hut, the Mogougou Boys cooked hundreds of brown and white eggs. Admorsha Fonctillius Taraciouu called this “the beginning of a new era, with this, the initial ritual that will forever mark the solemn beginning of the Mogougou Srivli Zenomandi Ollipoggi journey to destiny.” Following a brief discussion, the 46 other Mogougou Island Boys watched as Vice President Taraciouu swallowed two white hard boiled eggs whole. After clearing her throat, VP Admorsha Fonctillius Taraciouu told the nation “from this point on, we are the consumers. Let this be the symbolic ritual, the mythological beginning of our wonderful nation. Forever live Mogougou Srivli Zenomandi Ollipoggi, forever live the Mogougou Island Boys, forever live Zozombi Obliorgi Homnoptu !”.

What ensued could only be described as a collective mass orgy of human consumption. Dozens of hard boiled eggs, mostly white, but some brown ones as well, were swallowed hole by the ecstatic islanders. It is estimated that some 150 hard boiled eggs were consumed, without one recorded bite being documented. The nations photographer, Iridiri Uglio Oblieo (Mogougou for “Main Camera Person”) recorded the ceremony and he has certified “no one chewed even one piece of any of the hard boiled eggs.”

Post ceremony/ritual, the 47 Mogougou Island Boys rested in the People’s Hash-egg Hut, sleeping off the effects of the intoxicating hash oil and the cholesterol. Hours later, when the effects of the independence declaration had worn off, the supreme council of Mogougou Srivli Zenomandi Ollipoggi , voted unanimously, by a vote of six to nothing, to drop their first hydrogen bomb on London.

President Srijgihi Veldondo Aspratomomonus declared “We will be humanitarian about this process. We have nothing personal against the people of London. We will give you 24 hours advance notice before we drop our 500 megaton hydrogen bomb on London. Additionally, after we destroy London, we will ship over a crate of our white hash oil eggs to help in the rebuilding process!”

The nation applauded the humanitarian gesture, and Iridiri Uglio Oblieo recorded, for posterity, Vice President Admorsha Fonctillius Taraciouu swallowing 4 large white hard boiled eggs. A feeding frenzy followed, as the entire nation slopped down over 200 large hard boiled hash oil eggs. After this second eating orgy, the entire nation fell into a deep, deep sleep.

Advertisement: Mogougou Island- proud sponsor of Drunkards Island-Survivor Series

Iridiri Uglio Oblieo had left his camera on auto-record, but a subsequent check of the footage showed no activity whatsoever in the People’s Hash-egg Hut for about 8 solid hours. When the nation woke, President Srijgihi Veldondo Aspratomomonus declared “ Commissioner Zedi Phobe Tototu (Mogougou for Chief H-bomb Dropper) will fly the nations only airplane to London to drop the nations first (non-test) hydrogen bomb. Clerk Apix Heshihokkou (Mogougou for Main Communication Man) telegraphed 10 Downing Street forewarning that London would be destroyed. Post message, the boys headed back for more hard boiled eggs.

2/08

The Short Stories are a division of the Dan Sroka Humor Network. If you would like to be notified whenever new writings are added to any of these sites send a BLANK email message to this address: satire-by-sroka-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Network Endorsements and Shopping. The Dan Sroka Humor Network is a totally free, non-revenue producing entity. Please patronize and shop with our partners and help keep America's Leading INDEPENDENT Adult Humor Network free
Endorsements/Shopping

Visit One of Our Many Network Affiliate Sites. Click the banner below.