Prompted by a recent brutal ass beating at the hands of a gang of vicious bulldykes, Casper Milk-toast Yesman has formed a group for the protection of their lot. Knowing there is safety in numbers Milk-toast has organized a social club that any meek- meager wimp types can readily join, and he has signed up some real losers.
Milk-toast Yesman decided, after his last humiliating encounter on the streets of Palo Alto , that there was a real need for a secret society or network of brothers. Getting roughed up by a 400 lb bulldyke was one thing, but getting horse-whipped in public by a gang of female thugs, well, that was enough to prompt Casper to seek security in social circles.
The Society of Wimps was thus born out of necessity. There is no longer any need for anyone, no matter what your particular weakness, to feel you are alone, frail and helpless against tyrants, bullies and roughnecks. Casper Milk-toast Yesman has taken enough humiliation and his efforts are your saving grace, as well.
The Wimps (as they are known for short) have signed up some formidable weaklings. One of the first to sign up was Yesmans best friend (and reportedly lover) Wilbur Creampuff. Mr. Creampuff had had a recent negative experience with a bunch of young delicious teenage girls that left a bad taste in his mouth and hurt in his heart. So, the meek soul sought comfort in his buddies protective arms. As a result, Wilbur can again walk tall in his rubber janitor boots. When hes cleaning out the filthy urinals in the west end boys room and he gets squirted right in the face with a stream of urinal water, he can have peace of mind that his brothers will back him up. No more harassment from teenage punks about his lowly stature in society. Hes now a member of the Society of Wimps and he can be proud!
Another patsy that was quick on the Wimp bandwagon is Sheister Slob Doughboy. Hes taken some real bar-room thrashings over the years and a few at home as well. Doughboy, your typical 300 lb Homer Simpson like blob/wimp now feels comfortable having the social security that being a member of the Society of Wimps provides. If someone in Pedros busts a bottle of rum over his head Doughboy knows his brothers will come to his rescue and fend off the aggressor.
The Wimps arent for everyone, however. They do not permit women to join. Only white Anglo-Saxon males are admitted. So, if you are a minority, alien, female, foreigner or otherwise non-mainstream red blooded American- you are not welcome. In fact, if you are any of these, you are the enemy and target of the Society of Wimps. You represent a threat to the Wimps so dont even attempt to join or infiltrate their ranks.
The Wimps are a fast growing social group and with the advent of technology like the internet thing- the Society of Wimps are a pervasive and formidable social influence. You can apply for membership with the Society of Wimps. Just think- no more intimidation, no more fear, no more feelings of helplessness, no more worries that you are a low level scum bag and piece of wasted shit.
Join now- sign up below- Become a real man!
The Short Stories are a division of the Dan Sroka Humor Network. If you would like to be notified whenever new writings are added to any of these sites send a BLANK email message to this address: satire-by-sroka-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Network Endorsements and Shopping. The Dan Sroka Humor Network is a totally free, non-revenue producing entity. Please patronize and shop with our partners and help keep America's Leading INDEPENDENT Adult Humor Network free